Insulting SMS part-1

1. Rab kare aapko sab mile

Himmath

Izzat

Rupiya

Bangala

Style

Smile

Personality

Popularity

Car

Pyar





Ab bhi button daba rahe ho
LAALCHI. ...

2. Sorry din bhar msg nahi kar ski
JAIL me thi



murder case me

ek ladka ko smile kya de di

khusi se hi mar gaya,
pagla.

3. People say that U cant live without LOVE.
Bt
I
Personally
Feel
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
OXYGEN
Is more impt.

4. Aap aik brilliant,beautiful,genius,smart,nice,gud looking,intelligent,respectful,kind,ideal larkaylarki ka sms par rahe ho

5. Santa talking on cell. Banta : Kis se baat kar rahe ho? Santa : Biwi sei¿¿ Banta : Itnei¿¿ pyaar se? Santa : Tumhari hai.......

6. I Love You.I Love You.I Love You.I Love You.I Love You.I Love You.I Love You.Thats because Meneka Gandhi says Love Animal

7. I love you dost , I Really love you dost, I love you very much dost, I Seriously love you dost. Becoz Bhagwan KRISHAN said " Paap se nafrat karo Papio se nahi "

8. ..GIRL-Aisa khat likh sajna,Meri umar beet jaye padhne mein.






BOY-
(i=i>xE'I1i+:e_y#a#>#"e!%>;=??#@?w@'e?,e(p+>i?
Le padh le

9.
Teacher-Dunya K Pehle Insaan Ki Nationality Kya Thi?

Boy-Indain

T-Kese?

Boy-Uske Paas
N Ghar Tha
N Aata
N Bijli


Fir B Wo Zinda Tha.

10. Thot 4 d day:=
Achhe Dost
Kitni bar bhi Rooth Jaye unhe Mana Lena Chahiye...

Kyunki...




Woh kamine hamare
saare raaz jaante hai...!!;-):-)

11. I Knw
U R Sweet
U R Caring
U R Artistic
U R Kind
U R Intelligent
U R Attractive
U R Smart

BT
Thorra Aur IMPROVE Kro Tbi MERE Jaise banoge

12. i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window.I look down den.i lauf again

13. Dear user,your wife can become mother without Ur struggleJust SMS CHILD or call customer care 9890 be a tensionfree DAD

14. Loha Lohe Ko Ktata H,
Hira Hire Ko Ktata H,
Ap ko Bhi 1 Din Kutta Ktega,
Qki.


















Kutta kisi ko b kaat skta h...
B positive yar.

15. Boys! Boys! Boys!.

If u advise dem,dey thnk ur dominating. If u don't,ur not doing anything..
If u agree 2 all their likes,ur sweet. If u dont,ur not unWatz class 11 & 12..?

Itz all abt 1st freedom,1st bike,1st cell,1st niteout,1st bunk,1st crush,1st gf/bf,1st touch,1st kiss,1st BrkUp,1st Smoke,1st Vodkdrstnding..
If dey call u,dey r missing u. If u call,ur disturbing..
If dey ask u anythng, its der right. If u ask,ur jealous..
If dey care,dey love u. Ia,1st hOoka,1st project,1st worring abt future,1st feeling of Responsibility n finally d last bye 2 all loving frnds wid a promise 2 Stay Frnds 4ever..
sf u care,ur possessive..

So hard to live with them........!!!!!!!!! Pass to all & let boyz knw dat galz 2 have some feelings..nd it to all whom u nvr wanna loose in life as i did...!!

16. God ne tujhe bheja 2 bheja, lekin behja 2 aisa bhja ki behje main bhja hi nahi bhj, Ye mujhe kise ne bhj, isliye maine tjhe bheja!

17. How do i react when i see someone xtreeeeeeeeemmly cute?

I stare
n
Stare
n
Stare
&
I smile
n
Smile
& when i get tired, i put d mirror down!;-

18. Patni-shadi se pehle aap roz gift dete the,ab nhi dete,kyu?


Pati-kabhi tunme machuware ko machli pakadne k baad usse dana daalte deka hai...

19. What R the 3 fastest ways of Communication Telephone,Television,Tell a woman.U still want faster.tell her not 2 tell anyone


20. INDIA me 1 survey hua ki-
How many ppl want 2 hv frndshp wid me..??

Only 3 said-yes


2 said-no


N 95% said jhuthe sapne mt dikhao.!

21. Beta bola papa mujhe bandar dekhna hai.Papa bole,Nahi bete,abhi nahi.Papa kyon.Bete abhi bandar SMS padh raha hai

22.Can u pronounce:read along woof,roof,loof,shoof,shoof,woof,loof,roof,woof woof,hoof.Test results:U r a good dog.Now stop barking

23.  Grls b4 mariage luk lyk barbie doll

Aftr mariage beutful doll

After 1yr
Nice doll

After 2yr
only Doll

after 5yr
Dhol

after 10yr
DoLLy BinDRA

24. once god came n granted me a wish. I asked 4 'world peace'. Impossible, he said.Then I askd 2 give u brain. He said 'Let me try world peace

25. 1 day ull B srprisd 2CME beside U.U N ME laughing,U N ME crying,U N ME holding on,U N ME sitting in MENTAL HOSPITAL N ME CHECKING U

26. Malkin:Tu 3 Din Kam Pe Q Ni Ayi
Kamwali:Maine FaceBook P Status Update Kr Diya Tha
K Mai Gao Ja Rahi Hu Sahab Ne Comment B Kiya
HAVE A SAFE TRIP

27. Bhagwan se Scooter manga.. Car di; Ghar manga.. bangla diya; dost manga toh tumhey diya.. Bhagwan ne isbar aisa zulm kyoun kiya

28. Ye shayari mere kanjus dosto ke liye.

Hame to sms ne loota...

Call me kaha dum tha..

Mere sms bhi vaha pahuche..

Jaha balance hi kam tha

29.
GF-Wada Karo...

Hamesa Meri Bat Manoge,

Mujhe Kabhi Touch Ni Karoge,

Kiss Ni Karoge...



BF-

Bahen Tu Ghar Ja...
Tere Mummy Papa Chhinta Kar Rahe Honge:P

30. A guy sitting wd hs gf,
drinkng beer sys-
"I love u"
grl says-"is it u or d beer talkng?"

boy replies,"its me..











talking 2 my beer,

u shut up":-D

31. Hw to impres a kachrewali or kachrewala...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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.
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.
.
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.
.
Isme b intrstd ho??
Kasam se...matlab...hadh hoti h yar..!!

32. Dimag test karne ke 2 tarike hai- Apna sir cow ke muh k pas kariye,agar cow door jaye to samjho Gobar hai.... Aur agar pass aaye to samjho BHUSAA Hai.

33. Kya bindaas hawa chal rahi hai,bird gana ga rhi hai,cow grass eat rhi hai,shane sms kar rahele hain aur dhakkan sms padh rhle hain!

34.
Most innocent and heart touchng lines said By a True Lover to his Girlfrnd on Break Up..!!..
Behen mere gift toh wapas kar de
Teri bhabhi ko de dunga..!!..

35. A VERY VERY CLASSIC INSULT
.
Girl-Main abhi-abhi beauty parlour se aa rhi hu..
.
Boy- Are !!! Aaj bhi band tha kya ???:

36. I have a gift 4 U...
Choclaty n Crunchy outside,
Creamy n Whitish inside,

Guess what is it?

?

?

?

"COCKROACH"
Aa gaya na muh me pani...;)

37. GF demanded 4 Icecream..
Santa purchasd it..

GF:Thank U

Santa:Only thank u

GF:u wnt kiss na??

Santa:chup kr hawas ki bhuki, Adhi Ice cream de.

38. Santa ki roti par se chuha gujar gaya

Snta: Ab me ye roti nhi khaunga

Banta: Kha le beta chuhe ne konsi chappale pahni hui thi

39. If v lose a pen, v can buy a new one...


but




if v lose pen cap , v can't buy a new one..


That's why I care for u.


Dhakkan.....
kho mat jana..:-)

40. Stylish Break-Up:

Ladke ne apni GrlFrnd ko ROCKET gift kiya..
GF- Wat the hell is this?
Ladka- Tujhe chand taare chahiye the na,
is par baith or nikal le.."


41. Kamine
Kamine
Kamine
Kamine
Kamine
Kamine
Kamine
Kamine
Kamine

Aap ki 'KAMI - NE' itna pareshan kr diya ki Hum massage me space dena hi bhul gye..

42. Aapke chehare par udasi aur aankho me nami hai.

Aapke chehare par udasi aur aankho me nami hai.

Tata namak ka istemaal  karo,aap me iodine ki kami hai.

43. Murga I Love u Murgi Hi hi hi Kyo Majak karte ho  Chalo fir b tum mere liye kya kr skte ho  Murga-kuch b kr skta hun.Murgi-Ok Chalo ek anda dekar dikhao

44. Define a GIRL :The one who before going out for a party puts on eye shadow eye liner
lipgloss glitter rouge blush kaajal
Wear the best dress with heals
&Still say :
Kya yaar jaldi mai kuch kiya hi nahi ..!!
"Define a boy :The one before going to party cal his friend & asks :



"Bhai,tu nahaa k aega kya"?

45. Baap-Agar Tu Fir Exam me Fail hua to Mujhe PaPa Mat Bolna
AFTER Exam
BAAP-How Is Ur Result?
SON-dimag ki maa behan mat kr RAMLAL, Tune BAAP Hone ka Haq kho dia.

46. Arz kiya hai,
Eat bread with butter,
Wah-Wah,
Cut pencil with cutter,
Wah-Wah,
Whenever u forget me,
U will definitely fall in gutter,
Ab karo wah- wah...!!

47. AMERICAN 2 INDIA:"India kitna Garib Des H"
INDIA rplied in its way:Beta!
Tumara Desh Jitna OIL Khata H
Utna To Shanivar Ko hm SHANI MHARAJ Ko
Chada Dete HaI..

48. Evry second
god remember u,

Evry minute
god bless u,

Evry hour
god cares 4 u

bcz,
Evrydy i pray 2 god.

Bina Brain ke item hai, sambhal lena Prabhu

49. Tips 4 boys
Raste me agar koi ladki apko bhai kahe to ghabrana mt
B Positive
Uske kaan k niche 1 zor se thapad marna or bolna
yaha kaha ghum rahi h
ghar chal;->

50. 2 ladkiya ladai kar rahi thi,
hungama macha dia.
1st gril- Ye mujhe de do,
2nd gril- nhi dungi,fir dono aur zyada ladne lagi,

fir kya?





Meri photo fat gayi

51. Kya Aap ke paas girlfriend nhi h?

Kya pados ki ladkiya line nhi deti?

Kya Ladkiya bhai kehti h?

Life me kuch maza nhi?

To log on kare


www.HeyBhagwanUthaale.com...:-D

52. 1 ladke ne 1ladki ko propose kiya..

Ladki ne ladke ko
bahut mara,

utha utha k patka

Maar kha k ladka utha,
kapde jhad k bola-



TO PHIR MAIN INKAR SAMJHU!B)

53. Hubby asks wife 2 slow down speed of car.Wife:No plz.Husb-In Newspaper I'll publish ur correct age 55 in case of axident; Ohh KHkhkhkhkh.

54. What happend 2 ur mobile? I was trying 2 call u but i got msg: welcome 2 D jungle network,D monkey ur tring 2 cll is on tree plz try later.

55. God saw u hungry,he created pizza.He sw u thirsty,he crtd Pepsi.He sw u in dark, he crtd light.He sw ME without prob,he crtd U

56. Birds love u,monkeys love u,hippos love u,snakes love u,tortoise love u,giraffe loves u.Pls go back 2 ZOO,they all really miss U

57. Every mor ur 1st thing that comes 2 my mind.I wish I cud start day w/ U in my bed.I luv ur feel 2 my lips.U make my day. I love U NESCAFE ,

58. Ha ha ha ha hha ho ho ho ho oh oh oh ooh ohh eh eh hee he he ho he he he.KUCH NAHIN BAS TUMHARI SHAKAL YAAD AA GAYI.ha ha ho ho.

59. UR smile can b compared w Flowers,voice can b compared w cuckoo,innocence can b compared w baby,but in foolishness no comparisons

60. U r d 1 whos so smart,U r d 1 whos so charming, U r the 1 whose so good looking. And, I'm the 1 who is spreading these rumors.

61. Good morning.Have u done 2 of the most imp things when U wake up 1Pray,so that u may live.2Take bathso that others may live too

62. From Mon 2 Sun,From Jan 2 Dec,From birth till my death,my feelings 4 u have never changed.4 me,youve always been.a headache

63. Gud looks catch eyes,Gud Personality catches heart,U R blessed w both.FLATTERED.Dont Be,it was sent 2 me,I wanted U 2 read it.

64. 1 day ull B srprisd 2CME beside U.U N ME laughing,U N ME crying,U N ME holding on,U N ME sitting in MENTAL HOSPITAL N ME CHECKING U

65. Beta bola papa mujhe bandar dekhna hai.Papa bole,Nahi bete,abhi nahi.Papa kyon.Bete abhi bandar SMS padh raha ha

66. Dark were those days, without ur sight. When I was in darkness, U gave light. U gve strength 2 make life bright. Thanks PHILIPS TUBELIGHT

67. Uve got Sex Appeal.Uve got Intelligence.Uve got Class.Uve got D Face.N Uve got D Body.N Ive got the wrong number Sorry,

68. 2 live a life,one needs brain,reflex,looks,IQ,knowledge,way of expression N mental qualities.Hats off 2 u coz u manage 2 lve W/O them

69. A UR Attractive B UR D Best C UR Cute DUR Dear 2 me EUR Excellent F UR Funny G UR Gud Looking H He I Im J Just K Kidding

70. God ne tujhe bheja 2 bheja, lekin behja 2 aisa bhja ki behje main bhja hi nahi bhj, Ye mujhe kise ne bhj, isliye maine tjhe bheja! ,

71. i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window.I look down den.i lauf again

72. Can u pronounce:read along woof,roof,loof,shoof,shoof,woof,loof,roof,woof woof,hoof.Test results:U r a good dog.Now stop barking

73. I love u,I love u,I love u,I love u,I love u,I love u.Hey Dont get excited,I love other alphabets too.v,w,x,y,z,

74. Phool bina.Khushboo bekaar,Chand bina.Chandni bekaar,Pyar bina.Zindagi bekaar,Mere SMS bina.Tumhara MOBILE bekaar

75. I Love You.I Love You.I Love You.I Love You.I Love You.I Love You.I Love You.Thats because Meneka Gandhi says Love Animals

76. Sincere Apology : If u dont like any of my SMS n dont like 2 read, then plz dont hesitate, feel free to..... Throw ur mobile

77. Wife- i will die. Husband- i will also die. Wife- Why do you want 2 die? hosband- bcoz ma itni khushi bardasht nahi kar sakta:!

78. RAKHI SAWANT Train me!
TC- Ticket?
R.S- Mera to Chehra hi Ticket h!
TC- Jurmana lagega!
R S- Q?
TC- Qki Tum 1st CLASS me baithi ho & Chehra 3rd CLASS ka h..:-D!

79. A pakistani boy took admission in an American school.

Teacher :Wat's ur name?

Boy: mohd

Teacher : No, u r in america, ur name is johny frm today.

Child went home & mom asked.

Mom:how wz d day mohd.?

Boy:I am an american cal me johny

Mom n dad both got offended nd beat him up..

Nxt day he was back to school bruised

Teacher: Wat hapnd johny

Boy : Mam, jst 4 hrs after I became an american. I was attacked by 2 pakistanis...|D

80. Log kehte hain..!
.
"Agar achhe logo ko yaad kiya jaye to waqt b achha guzarta h."
.
So.
.
Maine socha apko..
.
.

meri yaad dila du.!

81. "PYAR" kuch pal ka misiouttahonahotadtamjoadhaptwhaptwamjamjadtdajkjlago


Nhi Pdha Ja Rha Na?
Fwd Kr Do
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Tum kya samjho pyar kya hota hai...!!;-)

82. Khuda ki bahut mehrbani h
k usne dosto ki koi kimat nhi rkhi
Warna
hm aap jaise dosto ki kemat kaise ada krte...
.
.
.

Qki my dear
CHAWANNI/ ATHANNI ab kahan chalti hai..??

:-

83. Once Einstein ws reading in class.. a scorpion bit his toe bt he was stil reading wid concentration.. his teacher saw d scorpion bite and einstein said dat it bite his toe, not his mind wich did not break his focus...
Frnds this is called
.
.
.
.
.
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.
.
OVER-ACTING;-)

84.
  @.@
_/(  '  )\__/"""\_

Pehchano Ise

Bandar
Nai

Mendak
Nai

Billi
Nai





JAAANI
Ye apke andar Ka Wo KeeDa H
Jo apko Msg Nai Krne Deta...

85. Jb maine darwaza khola, Apki ankho me Aansu, chehre par hasi thi,

Sanso mein Aahen, Dil me bebasi thi.

Pehle kyun nai btaya,


Darwaze mein ungli fasi thi...

86.Jab koi sms ni krta.
Itna gussa aata h.
Dil to cahta h,
.
.
.
.
.
.
Chapal utar k
.

.
.
.
Aram se baith jau or sochu.......
....

bhejna nahi ata hoga....

87. Animals hold meeting.Lion has come,elephant hs come, monkey hs come.But meeting hasn't started.Guess y? Coz Donkey busy reading this SMS!

88. Uve got Sex Appeal.Uve got Intelligence.Uve got Class.Uve got D Face.N Uve got D Body.N Ive got the wrong number Sorry

89. Life without u is impossible.UR in my blood.Cannot stay 4 a sec without u.If there u arent,Im dead.Excuse me,Im talking of oxygen.

90. If u save this msg,it means Im cute.If u fwd this,u r spreading that Im cute N if u erase this,u r jealous of me coz im cute,

91.  A UR Attractive B UR D Best C UR Cute DUR Dear 2 me EUR Excellent F UR Funny G UR Gud Looking H He I Im J Just K Kidding.

92. From Mon 2 Sun,From Jan 2 Dec,From birth till my death,my feelings 4 u have never changed.4 me,youve always been.a headache,

93. Kabhi hosla bhi azmaa lena chahiye, Bure waqt me muskura lna chh, Jab saat din main bhi khujali na mite, 2 8ve dn naha lna chahiye.

94. .RED ROSE= PYAR K LIYE.
YELLOW ROSE= FRIENDSHIP K LIYE.
WHITE ROSE= SHANTI K LIYE
AUR
AAP KE LIYE?


NIMA ROSE=ROZ NAHANE K LIYE.  

95. When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you.... Why should only i suffer!!!

96. Khud Ko Kro Kanjoos itna
Ki Har SmS Bhejne Se Pehle
Service Center Wale Call Karke Khud Pooche.
.
.
madam G,
r u sure
Bhejna hai
Ki Sending Fail Karu..!;-)Khud Ko Kro Kanjoos itna
Ki Har SmS Bhejne Se Pehle
Service Center Wale Call Karke Khud Pooche.
.
.
madam G,
r u sure
Bhejna hai
Ki Sending Fail Karu..!;-)

97. 1 Bar Hichki Aye To Samajna I M Remembring U,
2 Bar Aye To I Want 2 Meet U,
3 Bar Aye To I Miss U,
Agr Firse AyeTo...




Plz pani pee lena Mujhe Or B Kaam H

99. Sharab bani to Maikhane bane..Husn bana tu Deewane bane.. kuch tu baat he aap mai, yu hi nahi pagal khane bane.. kesa laga

100. Pears_ Rs 26
Lux_ Rs10
Sinthol_ Rs 9
lifebauy_ Rs 6
.
.
.
.
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sorry ye msg galti se aapko chala gaya.
.
delete kr dena.
.
ye offr sirf nahane walo k liye h.: