1. Ram:Itne khilari kyo football ko laat mar rahe hai Shyam:Goal kar ne k liye.Ram:Susra,Ball 2 pahle hi gol hai aur kitna gol karenge
2. After finishing MBBS, Dr. Munna start practice. He checked 1st patient eyes, tongue N ears by torch N finallly said Bole 2 Trch Theek hai
3. Barish hoti hai 2 tum yaad aate ho. Kali ghata chaye 2 yd ate ho, bheegte hain tm yd ate h, Bataoo Meri umbrella Kab wapis kroge?
4. When i call u,1 ring means thinking u,2 rings mns like u, 3 rngs mns missing u,4 rngs mns need u,5 rngs mean.BEHRE HO PHONE UTHAO!
5. Dil tha ameer aur muqadar garib tha,
Mil ke bichdna mera nasib tha.
Chaah kar b kuch na kar sake hum,
Ghar bhi jalta raha aur samandar bhi karib tha...!!
6. The smallest leave application by a jaat boy-
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.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Dear Sir,
Jo thaare bas ki h kar liyo...!!
Main kaal na aaun... :-D
7. When I was in school,someone stole my rough note:-(
Now they call it as
.
.
.
.
.
"OXFORD DICTIONARY"
Crazy ppl.........!:-)
No claps plz....
8. "Never Say I Failed 99 Times, Say I Discovered 99 Ways Which Causes Failure!"
- Thomas Edison.
Moral: Besharm Ho Jana But Apni Galti Mat Maan na , gud9ytji.
9. "Always believe in GOD..coz there r some questions that cannot be answerd by Google"..
10. Teacher: Prasang sahit warnan kijiye..
"Munni badnaam hui, Darling tere liye"
Student: Ye pangti bollywood ke prasidh kavi sant shri Chullbul Pandey ji ki rachna 'Dabang' ke "Munni badnaam" se li gayi hai. Is kavita mein kavi mayavi item girl malaika Arora ko sambodhit karte huye pyar mein badnaam hone ki prerna dete hai.Kavi is kavita ke madhyam se, munni se badnaam athva zandu baam hone ko keh rahe hai, in pangtiyon se humko kavi ke kamine aur chichore hone ka ehsaas hota hai...!
11. School life is like Reliance- karlo duniya muthi me..College life is like airtel- aisi azadi aur kaha..But, married life is like idea-jo badal de aap ki Duniya.
12. Full form of BOYS:
B-Badmashiyon me sab se aage...
O-Owl ki tarah raat me jaage...
Y-Yaarian nibhate jaan lga ke...
S-Sharif sirf maa ke aage..
...
13. Haryanvi BOY riding a cycle & hits a girl
Girl:KASAAI K BEEJ! Ghanti na mari jati k?
Boy:Re chori baawli dikhe? Poori cycle maar di; ib ghanti alag te maru k.
14. Aankho me Aansu,
Phir bhi hotho pe muskan kyu h..?
Kyu dohri zindgi jeete h hm,
Akhir hr koi preshan kyu h..?
Gulshan h agar safar zindgi ka to phir iski manzil shamshan kyu h..?
Jb judaai hi h pyar ka matlab to phir pyar karne wala hairan kyu h.?
Achchha karm karna h jindgi to burai ka rasta itna aasan kyu h.?
Agr jeena hi h marne k liye to phir zindgi ek vardan kyu h..?
Kabhi na milega jo....us se hi lag jata h dil,
Akhir ye dil itna nadan kyu h..?
15. Jhooth Bolna:Baccho k Liye "PAAP"
Lovers k liye "ART" Bachelors k Liye"Anivaarya" Aur Married k liye
"JEENE KA MAARG"
Jhoot 1, Roop anek"
16. Techr-Agar ek Diwar Banane me 10k ka kharch ata h to 2 diwar banane me kitna ayega?
Stdnt-100 Crore
Techr-Nalayk kya nam h tere baap ka?
Stdnt-'Suresh Kalmadi'
17. Ye SMS Abhi Apne Frndz Ko Send Kro, if any 5 come back it means. . . . ..
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Tum B velle Tumhare Dost B velle.ok ;-)
18. Gv me a title:
1)Thief of hearts 2)Source of smyl 3)Fun bomb 4)Sensitive 6)Romntic idiot 7)Mr/Ms. Atitude 8)Beutiful soul 9)Romntic wid a twist10)saying eyes
11)cutie pie12)pearl eys 13)Mr/ms show off
14)drama queen/king. 4wrd 2 al ur frnz n knw wich title suits u d mst.
..honest reply
19. What Is FACEBOOK?
.
.
Its A Place Where Boy Posts Joke, Gets No Response..
&
If Girl Posts D Same Joke, She Gets 150 Likes, 300 Cmnts & 60 friend Request..
20. Wo kon c cheez h jo fridge me rkhne k bad b garm rhti h?
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.
Ni pata?
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.
Garam Masala.
" kasam se bachapan se Genius hu pr kbi ghamand ni kiya".
21. Pick 3 words 4 me
...... +...... +......=
Tension, Smile, Sweet, Smart, Style, Cute,Romantic, Love, Attitude, Genius, Ego, Joy, Anger, .!!
22. Hr kisi se mohabbat nhi hoti,
Mohabbat ko pana sab ki kismat nhi hoti.
Hum dil rakh aaye unke kadmo me,
ye jante hue ki unki najar zameen pr nhi hoti.
23. Definition of gay...
Another useless n egoistic effort by men 2 prove they can do evrythng widout women!!;-)
24. kisi ke dil ka dard kisne dekha hai.jisne dekha he sirf chehra dekha hai.dard to tanhaiyon me hota hai.aur tanhaiyon me logo ne hume kaha dekha hai.....
25. Never expect anything in return frm anyone, but the truth is, when we really care for someone, we naturally start expecting a little care frm them.
26. kisi ke dil ka dard kisne dekha hai.jisne dekha he sirf chehra dekha hai.dard to tanhaiyon me hota hai.aur tanhaiyon me logo ne hume kaha dekha hai.....
27. Dosti to sirf ek ittefaq hai
Yeh toh dilon ki mulakat hai
Dosti nahi dekhti yeh din hai ki raat hai,
Isme to sirf wafadari aur jazbat hai
28. Corruption se bhi bada Sawal
jo
aaj sara Desh janana chahata h
.
.
.
Jis Mahila ka 'Salwar Suit'
Baba Ramdev pehan k Bhag rahe the
us mahila ne fir kya pehna?
29.
Perfect Example
of
Generation Gap:-
Aamir Khan-
"Papa kehte hain,
bada naam karega..."
Imran Khan-
"Daddy mujhse bola,
tu galti hai meri...":P
|D|D
30. Reflection can't be seen in boiling water.
Same way,
Truth can't be seen in a state of anger.
Analyze before you finalize.,.
31. Being Visible Is nt Always A Requirement for being Close.
It just takes some thoughts and memories to feel the Presence of Some1 vry close to our heart...:-):-)
32. Muskura do zara khuda ke vaste,
shama-e-mahefil mai roshni kam hai,
tum hamara nahi to kya ghum hai,
hum tumhare to hain ye kya kam hai....
33. ap mjhe kitna jante ho. test 1.my fv food 2 my fv color 3 my fv place 4 my fv actor 5 my fv movie
34. Hanuman ke 7nam
1-Hanuman
2-Bajrangbali
3-Marutinandan
4-Pavanputra
5-Sankatmochan
6-Ramdut
7-Mahavir
35. Agar dimag h to answer do ABHI 1 ladka 1 ladki ke pass se gujarta hua bola
1 4 3
Ladki boli-
2 5 5 1 9
Ladki ne kya kha.. .Pls reply krna.fast...
36. Usne kaha
mohabbat ki sazaa do mujhe....
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maine ja k uski mummy ko bata diya..
khoob piti bicharii...!!!!
;) ;)
gud job na...
37. Main uske hatho main tha tute hue shise ki tarha
badi umed the k bikharne nai dega
bus giraya kuch is trha c ki simatne ki aas he nai rahi
38. Haseeno ne haseen banke gunah Kiya,auro ko 2 theek,humko bhi tabah kiya,pesh kiya gazhlon me jab unki bewafai ko,unhone bhi WAH WAH ka
39. Xtreme Kamina Baccha!
Son: papa Apki Love Marriage hui thi na
Dad:Yes pr tmhe kaise pta?
Son:Q K
Apki shadi aur
meri DOB mein sirf 5 month Ka hi difrnce h...!
40. 1 hand on Clutch
1 on Acelerator
1 Ear listening 2 song
1 on mobile
1 Leg on gear
1 on brake
&
both Eyes onGirls!
Indian boys r realy
MULTI-TALENTED
41. 1 hand on Clutch
1 on Acelerator
1 Ear listening 2 song
1 on mobile
1 Leg on gear
1 on brake
&
both Eyes onGirls!
Indian boys r realy
MULTI-TALENTED
42. Havin a cold drink on a hot day wid a few frnds is
nice,
But
wat about havin a
hot friend
on a cold nite
after a few drinks...
speechless..
;-)hehehehe
43. 1buddha 1girl se takraya.
Buddha- sorry
Girl- stupid.
tbhi ek boy girl se takraya
Boy-sorry.
Girl- its ok.
Buddha- meri sorry ki spelling galat thi kya'.
44. "Every heart has a pain hidden inside
only the way of expression is different,
some hide it in thier eyes,
while some hide it in their smile..."
45. 1 ldka Pi k lauta,,
Dad se bachne k liye badi c book lekar padne lga!!
Dad- Pi k aya h?
Son- Ni To..?
Dad- fr suitcase khol k kya bak-bak kr rha h.
46. AJEEB Lagti He SHAAM Kabhi-kabhi,
ZINDGI Lagti H Bejan Kabhi-kabhi,
SAMJH Aaye to Hame Bhi Batana Ki,
Q Karti H Kisi Ki YADEEN PRESHAN Kabhi-kabhi.
47. Wo b kya din te
'MUMMY' ka pyar
or
'PAPA' k kndhe,
Na pdhai ki bojh,
Na life k funde,
Na kl ki chinta,
Na future k spne,
Ab kl ki h fikr,
or adhure h spne,
Mud k dekha to, bhut dur h apne,
Mnzilo ko dhudte hm kaha kho gye,
Kyu ab hm itne bade ho gye.
48. Girl- Plz Send Me Some Good Jokes.
BOY- Me Padhai Kar Raha Hu...
Aftr 2 min
GIRL-
.
.
.
.
Kya hua, Aur bhejo na..? Gud nyt
49. Always Speak Truth wid ur parents! . .. ... .. ... . .
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.
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.
And Run Immediately After Speaking! : )...
50. Negro died & went heaven!
ANGEL-Who r u ?
NEGRO- (2 impres her) im HERO of TITANIC
ANGEL gets confused &asks a friend: abe titanic duba tha ki jala tha?
51. Sir:chalo Newton's law batao...
Santa:sir mujhe pura nai bas last ka aata hai...
Sir:chalo utna hi btao....
Santa:"....and dis is called d Newton's law.....
:D
52. ISHQ mein ye Anjam paya hai,
Hath pair tute,Muh se khoon aya hai,
Hospital pohunche to narso ne ye frmaya hai,
Baharo phool barsao kisi ka mehboob PIT k aya hai
53. Send it to your friends and get lovely ans. Aaj dekte h apko kitne song milte h. Aap mujhe 1 aisa song dedicate karo jo mere naam k first alphabet se start ho......
54. 2 types of suicides
Quick Death : Take a BIG rope, tie it around your neck & hang.
Slow Death : Take SMALL thread, tie it on GIRLs neck & MARRY.
55. Sometimes in life its Difficult to Decide, Wht is Wrong.?
"A LIE dat Draws A SMILE
Or
A TRUTH dat Draws A TEAR."
56. SACHIBAAT:
Jab 5 second KI MUSKAAN SE photo ACHCHHI AA SAKATI HE ,TO
HAMESHA MUSKARANE SE ZINDGI KITNI ACHCHHI HOGI.!
SO KEEP SMILING :-) :-)
57. Dil Ke Zakham Zuba Par Laya Ni Karte,
Hum Apni Aankho Se Aansu Bahaya Ni Karte,
Zakham Kitne Hi Gehre Kyu Na Ho,
Hum Apne Honto Se Muskurahat Hataya Ni Karte
58. Baadal Kitne Khush Naseeb Hai,
Door Rehkar Bhi Zameen Par Baraste Hai,
Hum Kitne Bad Naseeb Hai,
Paas Reh Kar Bhi Unse Milne Ko Taraste Hai.
59. Jise chaha wo kisi aur ko chahti h. Jise pana chaha wo kisi aur ko pana chahti h. Aye khuda humse kya gustaki hui h, hum jiske hona chahte h wo kisi aur ki hona chahti h.
60. If u hide,ill seek 4 u.If u r lost,ill search 4 u.If days take u away frmme,ill fight 4 u.But,if u stop sending msgs,ill kill you.
61. Tanha sa tha jab bheed me, socha koi apna ni taqdeer me, ek din achanak wo zindagi me aaye, to aisa laga kuch khas h hatho k laqeer me
62. i miss u
i love u
i cant live without u.
confusedSORRY YAAR
MERA
MOBILE
BEER
K
GLASS
ME
GIR GAYA THA
TAB
SE
BeHKI
BeHKI
BAATE
KAR RAHA
HAI
63. Dil Ki Dhadkan Dhadka Gaya Koi,
Meri Zindagi Ko Mehka Gaya Koi,
Mae To Anjaani Raahon Pe Chal Raha Tha,
Achanak Hi Manzil Dikha Gaya Koi.
64. 1 Lamhe Mein Us Ne Zindagi Sawar Di,
1 Lamhe Mein Us Ne Zindagi Ujaad Di,
Kasoor Us Ka Nahi Mera Tha,
Jo Un 2 Lamhon Mein Maine Zindagi Guzaar Di
65. SAPNO ki DUNIYA me hm KHOTE chale gye
HOSH me the fir b MADHOSH hote chale gye
Jane kya BAAT thi us AJNABI CHEHRE me
Na CHAHATE hue b hm USKE HOTE chale gye...!
66. Dil Ko Manana Agar Hota Aasaan,
Na Karta Kisi Ko Aise Pareshan,
Tanha Na Rehta Bhari Mehfil Mein,
Na Hoti Wo Halat Jo Ho Na Bayaan.
67. Beautiful Prayer: God wen I lose hope, help me 2 remembr dat Ur luv is greatr than my disappointmnts & Ur plans 4 my life r better than my dreams.
68. Blackberries are like girls, they only work when you rub one little button.
iPhones are like men, one touch anywhere and they respond...;)
69. I have learned to care people too much,
not because they should care for me..
But,
bcoz i know the pain of being ignored..!!
70. Arz kiya h,
ki
Gam ne bahut sataya
h
Gum ne bahut sataya
h
nalayko tum bhi msg karo
maine kya Ambani k bete/beti ko pataya h..
71. Ikhtiyarre tabbasum ki lau ko tarranume numayish se aghaa dena... Jo iska matlab samajh aaye to please mujhe bhi bata dena....
72. Really true fact:-
90% problems of Life are due to Tone of Voice..
It is not so important what we say, but it matters, How we say it..
So,
Aawaaz Neeche.!!!!!
73. Muskura do zara khuda ke vaaste, sama-e-mahefil mein roshni kam hai, tum hamare nahi toh kya gum hai, hum tumhare to hain ye kya kam hai.
74. Nari Ke chakkar me bhulo na yaari. Laat maregi nari to yaad aeygi yaari Baat mano hamari tum bhi ban jao BRAHMCHARI ye jankari JANHIT me jari....
75. Khamosh palko se beh kar jab aansu ate hai, aap kya jane kitne aap yad ate hai, aaj bhi us mod pe khade hain, jaha aapne kaha tha thahero hum abhi aate hain...
76. LovelyFeeling:
Pyar or Barish dono ekse
hote he,
Wo hamesha yadgar hote
he,Sweetest kiss-on the 4head.
Loveliest kiss-on the cheeks!
Most romantic kiss-on the lips!
N the hottest kiss?
?
?
On the bike silencer! Try it on kiss day
Frk sirf itna he
Barish saath reh kar tan
bhigati he or
Pyar dur rehkar ankhe.
77. Indian kutto ki 4 buri aadate.
1-Haddi mili chusna shuru.
2- khambha mila mutna shuru.
3-Kutiya mili sunghna shuru.
4-Sms mila padhna shuru.
75. Sweetest kiss-on the 4head.
Loveliest kiss-on the cheeks!
Most romantic kiss-on the lips!
N the hottest kiss?
?
?
On the bike silencer! Try it on kiss day
76. Jo har shaam aapko ched jaye,jo har raat aapke galon ko chum jaye,jo har subah aapke kano me kuch keh jaye,use
maar do wo machar hai ...
77. Girl:Is dress ka kya price hai?
Shopkeeper;sirf 5 kiss.
Girl: Aur us dress ka?
Shopkeeper:10 kiss.
Girl:Dono dress pack kar do,bill Dadi denge.
78. Mujhe jala dena ya dafna dena. marte samay ek ghut rum pila dena,Mai tajmahal nahi mangta yaro Bas meri kabr par ek girls Hostel khulwa dena.
79. Boy : Bus,Train or Ladkia 1 jaisi hoti hai,1 ati hai 1 jati hai.
Girl : Autoriksha, Taxi or Ladke 1 jaise hote hai,1 ko bulao 4-4 chale ate hai;-)
80. A man cooks DEER & Doesnt tell kids wat it is. He gives a clue:-Its wat ur mom calls me(Dear).!! Son screams:-Koi mat khaana kutta
hai.!!!
81. Jani HUM SE PANGA MAT LENA kyoki jin toofano mai logo ke jhopde UD jate hain un toofano main hum apni chaddi sukhate hain.
82. Next generation child wil sing in school:
TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR,I JUST WENT TO ROYAL BAR,WHISKY RATES R UP SO HIGH,SO DRINK BEER WITH CHICKEN FRY...
83. Pak: Needed 6 runs in 4 Ball.. Pak people: ya allah 1 Chhakka De De.. Allah Replid: "Kutte Pura Pakistan Bhar Diya aur Kitne Bheju"? Send 2 every Indian..
84. Mohabat ki ye baat yaad aye tujhe,chhoo k na gujre gham ki hawaye tujhe.Mera kya hai,mai khak bhi ban jaun,meri mitti bhi degi duaye tujhe.
85. Lehro ko pyar tha kinaro se...
par uski shadi ho gayi sagar se
kinare ki preet lehro ko khinch laati hai
par badnaam naa ho mohabbat isliye wo laut jati hai.
86. Mayawati came 2 Lalu's house with a Goat.Lalu:Bhaiswa ko kyon layi ho? Maya:Dikhta nahi Goatwa hai? Lalu:Hum goatwa se hi pooch raha hu!.
87.Imagine World Without GIRL'S..
Galiya Sunsan
Collage Viran
Duniya Pareshan
Tanha Insan
Na Jaanu
Na jaan
Har Taraf Bus
Karan's Ka
..DOSTANA.
88. Judge- tune chori karte waqt biwi bacho ke bare me kyu nahi socha? Chor- Socha tha par dukan me sirf men's wear hi the.
89. A hen lays egg on the ind - pak boundary. Both start fighting over the egg. Ind & pak say it's theirs. Finally india says, whoever kiss more women in other country wins the egg. Pak say ok. Indians go to pak kiss 1000 & come back. Pak are excited. They say "our turn", Ind says "keep the egg"
90. Sir:Bachcho kasam khao kabhi sharab,cigret,jua aur ladki ko nahi chuoge.Desh ke liye apni jaan doge. Bachche:Jaan De denge sir,aisi jindgi jikar bhi kya karenge
91. Haseeno ne haseen bankar gunah kiya,
Auro ko to thik hamko bhi tabha kiya,
Pesh kiya jab gazalon me unki bewafai ko, Auro ne to thik unhone bhi WAHWAH kiya....
92. T I T A N I C _ll__ .
_,-"::::::::"=._,/t__
"____________/ Rakhlo, Yeh pyara Sa Gift.next time taj mehal bhej denge. iss baar haath tang hai.
93. Semi english shayeri- d Janaaza of Mehboob nikla frm d Gali of Mehbooba with lots of Zor-O-shor, d MEHBOOBA JHAKI FROM THE WINDOW & boli"MAR GAYA haram khor..
94. U 9 main mandir kyon jata hu..?
Qki wahi ek jagah hai jaha ek saath-
Pooja
BHavnA
shraddha
AaRTi
aRChana
Aradhana
$hanti
jyoti
Preeti
Tripti
aur
MUKTI
Milti hai
95. Muslim girl to a Hindu boy : " BHAIJAAN ZARA SIDE HONA. " Boy: " KYON CONFUSE KRTI H, YA TO BHAI BOL YA FIR JAAN HI BOL."new msg h.
96. A boy got a job in girls hostel. After month warden : y u did nt come 2 take ur salary.
boy : kiya ? Salary bhi milegi ?......:P..:P
97. Agar ashk na hote ankhon me,
to ankhen itni khubsurt na hoti,
Jo gum na diye hote zmane ne,
to khushi ki kimat pta na hoti,
Jo bewafi na ki hoti kisi ne
to wafa ki chahat hi na hoti
Jo tanhai ka ehsas na hota,
to mehfilo me ronak na hoti,
Jo mangne se mil jati har murad,
98. 7 cute things to make us react..
#_touching the fingers of newly born child..
*_speaking with an old friend on sunday evening..
#_waiting 4 a call or msg from lovable ones when v r alone..
*_walking alone in a silent road at night..
*_riding on bike in highways while raining..
#_speaking with a loved one through mobile standing in front of the mirror..
#_Watching the moon by lying on the terrace.. Try to experience these happy moments.:-)
99. son: me school nahin jaounga, . mOm: kyun? . son: job karounga.. ... ... ... . mOm: 2nd class parh kr kya kaam karo ge?> . . sOn: 1st class ki larkion ko tution parhaounga..... ............... ............... ........... Moral : boyz paidaishi kamine hote hai =p =D 100. Darshan Nachankar 2 studnts cheating karne hi wale the ke Teachr agya or pucha: Tum se peche wale larke ne abi kya pucha? . Studnt: Sir is ne pucha Japan ka capital kya hai. . Teachr: Toh tum ne bata dya? . Studnt: Nai Sir... Mene isko danta tha abi to tu ne muje Toka hai mgr ab na “TOKYO” ;) :P :D Students & Friendship Rock..
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