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Friday, November 8, 2013

Found my perfect pillow

I didn't know it before, the name which I wrote on computer screen with unconscious mind by mistake will be this much prestigious in my life. My mind gave more focus on the external environment input source (voice) in the background that time, as it always knew that this name will stay with me forever. 

I, a girl who had lost believe in Love. May be because of the surrounding environment where definition of Love has been changed to gain personal benefit rather than contributing to make someone’s heart smile. It’s quite common in our generation, we made an assumption about these beautiful blessing of god as useless word. But, now I firmly believe that Yes, there is something called LOVE, AFFECTION, CARE, TRUST. 

I switched my job after completing 2 years with my first employer company. I met the guy, who helped me to settle down in new environment. In no time, we became very good friends. Being in the same project and same nearest metro station, our travelling time also get included in tuning up the God's plan. We two were enough to make environment delightful, whether it is work or lunch/tea. 

After few months, our project got completed and we were assigned with two different projects at different location. Something different was running his mind which was visible to me through his text messages and call etc. You know as normal girl I was happy being pampered but, ignored his feeling to an extent and accepted it as a friendly care. 

We didn't meet for a long time. I had some work near in bank so we decide to meet after that over the coffee. As per my calculation and approximate time taken for the work in bank was max 1 n half hour. But my calculation goes wrong and it took around 4 hours to short out the things. As per my commencement to the time he reached at the place where we supposed to meet after my work. Unfortunately, I was late and he kept on waiting for 4 hours.



Finally, I was on the way to meet him. We met at the metro station headed towards CP. I got to know that Ruchi, very good friend of him is also there near by CP. So he planned to call her to meet me as I had heard a lot about her. Although this instant hang out plan was pre-planned. We all went to park to enjoy the weather and to stay close to nature (Or can say cheapest hang out place ;-D). Around half hour later we girls became real amigo (Friends).
After some chit chat and snacks, we were about to leave for home. We all stood up, I was ready to go but I saw some mysterious talks were going on in between Ruchi and him. In the time while I could have understand anything, He was on his knees in front of me holding a lovely heart shaped Keychain having 2 hearts (A big and 1 small with in it). “Neeru, I would like give you my heart, Will you please take care of it”.
I was not expecting this from him as I had accepted it as friendly care. But Yes, I was on cloud 9, more than happy as I never got proposal in such a lovely way. I didn't want to be in relationship at that time and also don’t want to loose my buddy as well. So, for the time being my reply was No with a promise that nothing will change about our friendship.

It's true that nothing has changed. He kept on taking care of mine. Still our projects were different. The only difference was on my side, I was trying hard to ignore his feelings which were conveyed to me and still were in progress via his msgs. There was nothing special in those messages, but every word made fell on my knees and made my heart beat faster. I was surprised with my own behavior. Still I was not ready to accept it. 

After few days, a trip was planned by My colleagues to get rid from work, at least for sometime. At same-time one part of mine was excited to go and another was stopping me to join. Reasons of both thoughts was same. It was him. Finally I was ready to go on trip, but with my elder sister. Going on trip was planned by first part who was excited to go and taking sister along with was my another half parts decision.

Now starts my platinum day of love. Our trip started at Friday night. We were 7 people in innova(7 seater excluding driver). We 3 were on back seat, me my sister and him in the same sequence initially. We stopped to have late night munching at a dhaaba. After having fun munching at dhaba we continued our trip. But this time seating sequence changed and I was in center this time. We enjoyed playing antakshari till 2 pm. It was great feeling to be in the same team. We all started feeling sleepy. It was also hard for me to stay awake. I was conscious as Rahul was seating besides me. I was afraid that my head might land on his shoulder. After a jerk I opened my eyes n my head was on his shoulder.  It felt so Awesome and my head was well fitted and placed as it was made to complete each other. Being controlled by my heart I was unable to move my head from his shoulder. After little bit of fight with my heart I moved my head a  bit which I really didn't wanted to. As I moved his hand came on my cheeks kind of gesture to let a child go to sleep. It was a never felt fantastic feeling which has melted my heart even more. Now intentionally my head was on shoulder. It was more comfortable than any pillow in the world. It was indicating that I have found my personal pillow.:-)

We reached at our destination. We all enjoyed a lot . We did rock climbing, rappelling  and other adventure activities.  I was enjoying his company more than anything else.  In all these every time our eyes meet each other. There was always the same question in my eyes 'why r u doing so.?' And every time he smiles so patiently as he was saying 'I don't know just can't resist this feeling for u. I had tried a lot before.' 

At night there were 3 sharing tents on our camp for us. 1 tent was triple sharing, in which me and my sister was there and him(the odd one). We had some casual talks. Later on my sister fall asleep and we both were out in amazing weather and kept on looking around. That moment was so perfect. Being together.. without saying anything.. in arms of nature. Later on my head land on his shoulder in very conscious state. Without saying anything we committed to each other to stay together. 
We are together currently. Every time we met , it none the less than our this day described above. But yes, this stays with us as a beautiful memory and we love it.


The day She finally accepted me..

 We both were working in the same company. And after getting into relationship we came to know that both of us never thought of joining this company, rather we didn't even know the company name. Joining this very company itself a long story for both of us. So skipping this company joining part. So I joined this company on 1 st of Nov 2011. And she joined 21st of Nov 2011 with another girl[Let's call this another girl Any]. But destiny has different plans for us[better plans for us-we realized later].
 
      So, I started training Any and my colleague started training her. At first look she was like Ok type [in boys language]. I had hardly any conversation with her and I hardly gave any special attention to her. Time kept passing , we usually used to talk in the lunch time , because she used to eat my lunch after finishing her lunch.[note: rare girl found here]. And then we used to have little walk after the lunch. After some time I kinda like the idea of walk after the lunch.

     Till this time , I used to like another girl[Say Any2] in the office and we had good time in office, Me and Any2 became good friends . Our HR and Manager were jealous of our friendship. I  could  easily recognize their expressions. So this continues for 2 months . Now then a new project came and resource allocation was planned by my managers. I don't know out of jealously or what neither Any nor Any2 came into my Project.

    So,in this project there were 5 peoples. I ,she and 3 more guys. These 3 guys were senior to me in the company so they were good friends . That how we came closer,because
1. Our nearest metro station was same to our client side
2. We were left out by those three.
So travel time+lunch time + project discussions brought her close to me . After three months working together I fell in love with her. But every time I used to think,no this can't be true. I just like her .
So I kept ignoring my feelings. And then this project ended and I was moved to some other projects.

      Now I was in another project with another beautiful and cute girls in [July-Oct 2012]. So I thought now feelings for her should vanish. But no it gets stronger and stronger . The more I try to look towards another girls, the more my heart remembers her. So finally I got to know beta Rahul- now your mind and heart have the chemical locha. You can't ignore it. So I finally decided to propose her. And I wrote all my feeling in form of so called love letter and planned to give her with proposal.

    Now the proposal[22-09-12] day,we planned to meet after her interview at Sec-18 noida , it was pretty hard to get a date with her so I said after interview we can meet easily. Interview started at 10:00 , so I expected to end it around 11 or 11:30. So I reached KFC at 11:00 and  called her but the phone got Busy that means interview is still going. So, I kept waiting there with flowers, 3 small gifts and with my love letter . During the wait of 4 hours I almost tried all drinks of KFC with the lowest possible intake rate. First time ever I was not able to enjoy any of the drinks due combination of nervousness and excitement. So finally I got a call around 15:00 and she told that interview was not that good[meri to lag gayi - I thought beta mood to sahi nhi hoga iska aaj, aur tu propose karega aaj,tera pitna pakka hai chhore] . She then said ki cancel KFC and let's go to CP, we will have some food. I agreed instantly as I had no time to lose or wait.

  Now, we were in the CCD of Rajiv Chauk. Here even after a good cup of coffee, she easily traced my nervousness and asked ki ghadi to 4 bajaa rahi hi tumhaare chehre pe 12 kyun baje hain. I couldn't reply anything, just said bas aise hi. There were several things happening in my mind . I was not able to think where should I start and how should I start. So , to ease her mood [mine as well] I gifted her one of the gift to her. She liked it very much. But still I couldn't figure out how I should I start. I couldn't propose her at CCD. So we went up to Central Park.

  Now, we were in the CP talking all the random stuff, but still I couldn't have the enough courage to say her. Then my best friend Ruchi 's call came that she will be at Rajiv Chauk in 10 mins. I went to metro again to bring her in the CP. In the meantime I conveyed all feeling for her to Ruchi and ask her if she can help me .

During the conversation Ruchi tried to figure out what's going inside her mind. I asked Ruchi in the language of eyes . Ruchi clearly indicated that I have no chance.[Meri to lagg gayi]. But I was determined that this is the day, I won't find any other day or life to propose her. Thinking all of this the time passed and girls planned to leave for the day. I was like NOOOOOOOOOOO..... Then as soon as she/they started to move from CP , I bent on my knees and gave the second gift which was a keychain of heart inside heart[ meaning for me was - I will keep your heart safe inside my heart.] and said that Please take my heart. She was not expecting a proposal from me so she thought it was some kind of joke or prank, but after looking my serious face she asked are you serious ..? I said "Yes, aur Tujhe kya lagta hai? subah se mere face pe 12 aiwe hi baja hua tha.? ". She then said as you proposed me, there shouldn't be any change between us. We were friends and we will be friends. I said i have no issues.[ In my mind I wanted to hear the same].




 Now, we were inside the metro,Ruchi left us at Central Secretariat and we continued the same metro. Now to light up the mood. I gave the flowers and showed her the third gift . And said if u had accepted my proposal I would have gave the third one also.But I won't give you now. I will give this to you whichever comes earlier either your acceptance or your birthday.[Don't know why I kinda blackmailed her]




    Time passed and an office trip was planned . I clearly said to her if you are not coming , I am not going too. Then she agreed to come , but along with her elder sister . Mai to fas hi gya ab naa to haan bol paaya naa naa. So we all (7 colleagues) started our journey in an Innova around 8 pm. I was in last row with her and  her sister. As expected  her sister was sitting between us.Then we stopped for dinner around 10 pm . After dinner her sister gave the chance to sit her with me [Don't know if she did intentionally or not]. We had awesome Antakshari till 1 a.m. then all of them got sleepy except me. As she was just sitting beside me her head used to come to my shoulder time to time, but as soon as she got to know she just kept her straight, but it was long journey. After one hour her head finally landed to my shoulder for the long time as she was in deep sleep. This feeling was out of the world. At this time all I wanted was may this head remain on my shoulder forever and ever. I made sure that she don't feel the jerk of vehicle. She woke up in the morning and saw me awaking and asked if I was awake whole night . I lied that no I just woke up. But yes she got to know that whole night her head was on my shoulders.

 Now we were still inside that Innova. In the morning after her waking up , I gathered some courage and hold her hand. Due to shock or some running thoughts she parted her hand after 2 or 3 minutes.
I thought that this was the end of my love story and suddenly a miracle happened and now she was holding my hand . I kept holding her hand for the whole office trip in front of all 4 other colleagues without fearing all possible gossip ,rumors and taunts. This was my experience of #SoundOfLove in Silence as acceptance came silently without uttering a word. Sometimes we don't need to tell what we feel, the person whom you love can get to know your feelings very easily. Every time I meet her it seems that this is the best day ever. 

I am participating in the #SoundOfLove activity atBlogAdda in association with Bluestone