69. Engg. Doctor k pas gaya or bola ghar jaane ki kya fees hai.
.
.
Dr- 300 rupees..
.
Engg.- Chale dr. Saab
.
.
dr. ne bike nikali
engg. N dr. Ghar pahuch gye
dr bola mareez kaha hai..
.
.
Engg.- Mareez koi nai hai pagal taxi
wala 500 maang raha tha tu 300
mai le aaya:p
.
.
dr. ne bike nikali
engg. N dr. Ghar pahuch gye
dr bola mareez kaha hai..
.
.
Engg.- Mareez koi nai hai pagal taxi
wala 500 maang raha tha tu 300
mai le aaya:p
68. Larki (sharma k): Ye Pyar kya hota hai? Larka: Pyar ka rishta 2 insanon main Wohi hota hai jo cementor rait k darmiyan pani ka hota hai Farz karo Larka=cement Larki=rait Love=pani Ab agar cement or rait ko aapas main mila diya jaye to wo strong nahi honge Lekin Agar in main pani mix kar diya jaye to koi in ko juda nahi kar sakta Larki (hans k): Kameenay tu CIVIL ENGINEER hai na?;):-
67. 7 great qualities of Engineering Student 1. consistency: once a zero always zero 2. Voice modulation: attendance in 5 different voices 3. Presentation skills: presenting 1 answer in 5 different ways for 5 different questions 4. Art: designing classroom tables 5. Stamina: tolerate teacher for 1 hour lecture 6. Peripheral Vision: checking out a girl/guy sitting behind 7. Humanity: failing & giving others a chance to top
66. Engineering Students While Studyin For Exams -Books N Notes Open -Highlighting Sentences ... -Pen In Mouth -Blank Page -Eating, Drinking (bhook bht lagti hay parhte howe ) :P -Turning Pages -Reading 'Headings' -Thinking About Where To Start From & Texting Friends Oye Kitna Hua? :P :D
65. There was a good old barber. One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you. I am doing a Community Service. Florist is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a "Thank You" Card and a dozen roses waiting at his door. A Confectioner goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber he again refuses to take the money. The Confectioner is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop,there is another "Thank you" Card and a dozen Cakes waiting at his door. A Software enGineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber again refuses the money saying that it was a community service. The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there... Scroll down for answer... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A Dozen Software enGineers waiting for a free haircut... with Printouts of Forwarded mail mentioning about free haircut with the google map showing the shop.. :D :D
1. Enginering student ne hawa me coin uchala;
head aya to sona hai,
tail aya to film dekhna hai,
khada rha to gane sununga or agar hwa me rha to maa kasam padhunga
2. Smallest C header file ..
it does everything...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#include"rajnikant.h"
:-).
3.
( '_' )
('_' )
( '_')
('_' )
( '_')
('_' )
Aankhen aaj bhi uss haramkhor ko talash rhi h, jisne kha tha
12th tak padhlo,college mein to aish h!
4. Itni shiddat se maine book uthane ki kosish ki h...
ki hr zarre ne mujhe sulane ki sajish ki h..
kehte h agar kisi chapter ko dilo- jan se samjhna chahoge
to sari kaaynat tumhe usme confuse krne me jut jayegi..
aur
agar aisa na ho to samajh lena
ki chapter syllabus k bahar h mere dost!!
5. Introducing 20-20 style in exams
1>Reduce exam time by 1 hour and marks by 50.
2>Introduce breaks after each 15 minuts.
3>Give free hit marks for unexpected questions.
4>first 30 minuts power play no teachers in exam hall.
5>Each class have cheer girls & dey dance wen v take additional sheets..;-)
6. Dear students,
We do get to know when u r texting in class.
Becuz Seriously, no one in world looks at their private parts and smiles!
REGARDS
-Your teachers
7. " SIT,STUDY N KEEP UR CELL OFF"
D above stunts r performed by trained professionals under controlled environments. Plz DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME.
8. Once Rajnikant Appeared for b.tech exams. n
.
.
Guess Wat..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
He FAILED
b.tech Rocks. Rajni Ho Ya Gajini...
B.tech me sabki bajni...!
9.
Why we sometimes write "etc." at d end in examz
Bcoz it means
e-end of,
t-thinking,
c-capacity.
teachrs cnt undstnd our feelings. Gm
10. Dil agar " CPU" hota to sabi yadon ko "SAVE" kar sakte,
Dimag me agar "PRINTER" hota to khayallo ka "PRINT OUT" nikal dete,
Dhadkan me agar "PEN DRIVE" hoti to jindagi ka back up le lete,
Man me jo "BLUETOOTH" hota to Baton ko transfer kar lete,
Aankho me jo "WEBCAM" hota to tasviro ko receive kar sakte,
Kaash....
Jindagi b ek COMPUTER hoti to use b restart kr lete....!!
11. ppl say that::-
Zindagi Imtihan Leti Hai,
Bt Yahan To Imtihano Ne Zindagi ki Le Li yr.....
Frwrd 2 all studnt.
12. Why dnt we study d whole year & study Only during exms?Bcoz"Lehro ka sukon Sabhi ko pasand hai lekin,tufano mai Kashti nikalne ka maza hi kuch aur hai''.
13. We broke up..... :( ;(
:'( :'(
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Me and my
bookz!!! :p :-D
bohot ho gaya tha yar...B-)
14. Terrorists have kidnapped our lecturers N demanded ransom of 500000or they will burn them w kerosene.plz donate.I donated 15litres.
15. Fathr 2 hs prsnl advicr:-muje kese pta chal skta h k mera beta future me kya banega?
Advicr:aap us k table me cigrte, beer,paiso k gaddi,buks,ladki ka photo rkh do
Unme se jo wo uthaega whi bnega
fathr:k
Beta aya table dekhi,choom kr paiso ki gaddi uthai, cigrte pee,buks mod kr pockt me rkhi,beer pee,ldki k photo ko dil s lga kr rkh liya...
father to his advicr:is nalayk ne to sb kuch le lia!
Advicr:sir mubarak ho apka beta "Engineer" banega...
TAKE CARE...;)
16. Jyotishi ladke Ka Haath Dekhkar bola:"Beta Tum Bahut Padhoge..........!!!!!!".
Ladka:
"Abe, Padh To Main 3 saal Se Raha Huun......!!
Yeh Bata Pas kb houga.
17. Parag was filling up application form 4 job.He ws not sure what 2 b filled in column 'Salary Expected'. After much thought he wrote Yes
18. Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE CCome,OOn,LLets,LLove,EEach,GGirl,EEqually.Thats y boys go 2 college regularly.
19. Classic example for students of different age groups:-
1st to 3rd stndard- hey I studied everything for exam...
4th to 6th std- Hey that Question was very hard so I dint read tat...
7th to 9th std- hey read only important questions...
10th- abe 4 chapters r enough....
11th-12th- saale whch exam is 2day...
Clgs- oh! Aaj exam hai...saalon kisi ne bataya bhi nahi....B-):-D;-)
20. Mountain dew peekar door hua
fear,,,
.
.
.
Wah_Wah
.
.
Mountain dew peekar door hua fear
Exams are near and our basic concepts are still not clear..;);)
21. Tanaav grast logo k liye yoga.
Table pr whisky ki bottle namkeen or glass rkho.Chair pr baitho
whisky ko baraf se bharey glass me dalo.Halke se sip lo
Namkeen khao
Phir sip lo Is kriya ko 11 bar dohrao Sar pichhe jhukao dono hath sar k peeche rakho,aankhe dheere se band krte hue bolo
"Bhad mein jaye duniya"
22. This story is all about wen i ws in 1st std.
I was caught fighting in class and My Teacher asked me 2 write
"I WONT FIGHT IN CLASS"
50 times on d board,
i wrote...
.
.
.
.
.
for(i=1;i<=50;i++)
printf("I WONT FIGHT IN CLASS\n");
Kya karu talent bachpan se hi h.:D;);).
23. A student called up his Physics professor, But Got professors wife on d call
.
"He died last week" She explained
.
Next day student called again & asked
for the professor.
Wife answered "I told u he died last
week"
Next day he called again..dis tym wife
shouted "I'VE TOLD U,YOUR PROFESSOR DIED LAST
WEEK..!
Y DO U KEEP CALLING..?"
He replied..
..
"Sun kar achcha lagta hai" ..
{replace physics by ur fav faculty}
24. Every Students Gets Opporunity 2 sleep in Class hours..
But Sum Miss those Beautiful Moments..
And those Idiots r known as
.
.
.
.
Toppers.!!
>]
25. Dear frnd-
Exams may cum n go
marks may cum n go
ßut once u go mad,
U' ll b mad forever,
So ß careful..
Study in limits..
Spread awareness..;-)
26. Fashion is simplicity 4 us.
Class is meeting hall 4 us.
Teachers are inspectors 4 us.
Girls r dolls.
Guys r prince.
Cafe means life 2 us.
Study is our part time hobby.
Campus roads r catwalk tracks.
We know how to laugh after short attendance & poor grades.
We are "STUDENTS"
Keep Rocking....
27. Mohabbatein STUDENT STYLE..
1 student tha deewana sa,
1 subject pe wo marta tha,
books utha kar chasma lagakar Library se guzar ta tha,
kuch padhna tha shayad usko jane kisse darta tha,
Jab bi milta tha mujse pucha karta tha ye PASS kaise hota hai yar ye PASS kaise hota hai, or main bas itna keh pata tha
KITABEIN KHULI HO YA HO BAND PADHNA LAST NIGHT KO HI HOTA HAI, KAISE KAHUN MAIN O YAARA YE PAS AISE HI HOTA HAI!....:-)B-)
28. What is another painful sentence other than
'I Hate You.'
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
KITNE MARKS AAYE..!!
Dil tut sa jata h..:(
29. GGSIPU
pesh karte hain
Apke liye
dec(10-22)
10am se 1pm tak
Ranga rang karyakram
"Udd gaye totte mitraan de"
Everyday live and xclusive
Best of luck enjoy
30. Rahne ki yaha sbki aukat nahi hoti,2-3 Peg k bina yahan raat nahi hoti,Ye pesha hai engineering ka,Bina cigerate aur maa bahen ke yehan baat nahin hoti.
31. What is B.E.?
8 semesters
80GB SYLABUS
80MB WE STUDY
80KB WE REMEMBER
80BYTES WE ANSWER
BINARY MARKS WE GET
So finaly we get B.E.
i.e. Brain Empty
32. Aansu ajate hai aankho me rone se pahle .
Har khwab tut jate hai sone se pehle!
Kya hai engineer ye to samjh gaye, kash koi rok leta admission hone se pehle.
33. Whats the height of hope?
It is sitting in the exam hall, holding the ques. paper in hand and telling ur self:
Dude, dont worry exams will be postponed:-):-)
34. Ye exams bhi apni hindi filmo ki tarah hote hain, ant tak sab kuch acha ho hi jata hai-HAPPYES ENDING.
Agar tum kisi sbject me paas hona chahte ho to sari Kaynat tumhe pas karane me lag jati hai
aur agar aisa nahi hota to exam abhi khatam nahi hua
supplementary abhi baki hai mere dost.......
35. College z 4 Knowldge.Knowlge z 4 Life. Life is for Wife. But wife is a Knife. Which cuts your Life. So never choose your Wife in College Life. Hm to BACHHE hai.
36. Lessons taught 2 us:
1. Study only during exam nights
2. Treat all marks above 40% as bonus
3. Write all assignments only on d morning of submission
4.Keep photostats up 2 date
5. 80% attendance in d canteen only
6. Way of Working: "copy, taipna, chepna"
7. If u can't convince them, confuse them
8. Proxy (c) and Mass bunk(c) are registered trademarks of "Back Benchers Association Pvt Ltd" :-D :-D
37. Y dont we study whole sem & spend sleeples nites during xams? Coz "Sahil k sukun se hume inkar Nahin Magar tufano se kashti nikalne ka maza kuch aur hi hai"B-)
38. Ye IP ki ENGG h bidu 50 mile to TALI bidu km lage to GALI bidu Hua alclear to bole JHAKAS suppli lage to SATYANASH, pass hua to THAT hai fail hua to WATT hai...
39. Engineering is like a typical indian public toilet,people outside r desperate to go in & people inside r dying to finish & come out..
40.
41.Upcoming Horror movies in B.TECH
-KHUNKHAR ASSIGNMENT
-Midsem ki pyas
-Badla compny ka
-Extrnl bana shaitan
-Tadapta Engineer
-"Darinda" Result
-Wo AkhariSaam
42.
Exam song:
"chandamama so gaye, saare Stdnt jaage,dekho padhlo yaro,ghari k kaate bhage,1pariksha khatm to dujee,shuru ho gayee mammu!
..
Mammu mammu oo
43. Bismil ka sandesh hai ki kAshmiri gate se jo metro univ eXam paprs lekr aegi use hum rohni par lutenge. Un papr ko jalakr hum IPU hukumat ki dhajiyan udayenge.
44. Perfect example of tension:when one get BACK in one subject Terror:when one get BACK in two subjects
Horror:when one get BACK in all subjects Tragedy:when you know u are completely responsible for it..
45. 50 no. ki kimat tum kya jano Chunni Babu ,
IP ka ashirwad hota hai 50 no,
engineer k sar ka taj hota hai 50 no,
har student ka khwab hota hai ye 50 no.
46. Arz kiya hai..
Kbhi sochte h aj padhenge,
Kbhi sochte h kal padhenge,
fr sochte h jb ppr ayega tb padhnge,
or jb ppr ata h to kehte h..
ab kya padhnge!
47. Samunder bhar syllabus,nadia bhar padh paate hain,balti bhar yaad rehta hai,mugga bhar likh paate hain,chullu bhar number aate hain,ab tim aa gya dub k mr jane ka. .
48. Lamha-lamha waqt gujar jayega!
Chand lamho me exam aa jayega! Abhi bhi waqt hai do line padh lo,varna tum kya MUNNA BHAI ho jo tumhe CURKIT pass krayega!!!
49. TYPICAL ENGINEERING STUDENT:-
1st sem-"Guys just 2weeks left for d internals. Lets start studyin."
3rd sem-"Macha stil a week left.Lets start tmrw".
5th sem-"Man internals tmrw!! Shall we start?"
7th sem-"Dude,3 days holidays on account of internals.Where shall we go..??";-) engineers rock..
50.
Now sing dis:
kabhi kabhi to lage classroom me rahi na khushi or na maaza....
Kabhi kabhi to lage har class mushkil
or har sem ek saaza....
Aise me koi kaise apne teacher ko padane se roke
or kaise koi soch le evryday gonna
b holiday....
51. colectr bnte h wo jo IAS krte h,doctor bnte h wo jo MBBS krte h,lawyr bnte h wo jo LAW krte h,or in sb ke baap bnte h wo jo B.Tech. karte hai.
52. UpcOminG HorRor moviEs in B.TECH
-endsem ki pyaas
-Badla bunking ka
-ExternAl bana ShaitaN
-Tadapta Engineer
-Khooni ResuLt
-Wo Akhri paper.
And many more.
53. Normal heart ECG
_,-._ /l _,-._/!. " I/
ECG when exams r going on
_/l _/I _/l _/I_ I/ l/ I/
& when results r announced
____________
54. Itz D month of snow N songs
candls n cakes
clEbrats N dEcorAts
Itz Dcmbr!
njoy dis Lvly n fun-filled glory month!!
Plz Ignore if u r an engineering stdnt!
55. 4 YEARS 8 WARS (semstr) 58 ENEMIES (subjects) 154 BULLETS (Internals) 1 DEFENDER...! Yes, PROUD to be an ENGINEER..
56. If Engineers start making movies,Guess names wud be CURRENT ho na ho,Aa ab B~Tech kare,Kabhi AC Kabhi DC,Hamara IC aapke Paas Hai,Fuse lagaya to darna kya .
57. LOVE STORY OF AN ENGINEER:
I was in12th,
She was in 12th.
I got BE,
She got BSc.
I was doin BE,
She got MSc.
I was doin BE,
She got PhD.
I compltd BE,
She got a Doctrate.
She got married,
I was preparin for ME entrance.
She's de mother of 2 children,
I am doing my ME
Her daughter is in 1st std,
I completed ME
Her daughter passd 10th,
I hv joined in software job.,
The greatest irony-
Today is my ENGAGEMENT!
&
Her daughter is my Fiancé..
58. Whts engineering? Ans:1yr-Alpenlibe-Ji lalchaye raha na jaye 2yr-Mentos-dimag ki bathi jala de 3yr-KINETIC-Sabki hawa nikal de 4yr-CHLORMINT-Dubara mat puchna!
59. Raat...kitab mere panne kholti rahi,
neend mujhe apni aur ghasitti rahi.
Neend ka jhoka mera man moh gaya,
kal raat fir ek ENGINEER bina pade so gaya....
60. 4m raggin 2 bein seniors. 4m acquaintncs 2 bein frnds. 4m hvin a crush 2 bein lovrs. 4m jus hvin fun 2 bein rspnsble.4m joys 2 tear.Dis ws d jrny 4m I to 3 yr.
61. Never ask a girl her age..
A man his salary..
and now-a-days !!
An engineering studnt his placements....
It hurts....!!
...REALLY:-)
61. पहले मै बहुत दुखी रहता था.
... ...
हमेशा हताश रहता था.
मुझसे पढाई नहीं हो पाती थी.
एक novel complete करने में महीनो लग जाते थे.
घरवालो के ताने सुन के रोया करता था.
फिर मैंने इस नए course के बारे में सुना.
*ENGINEERING*
ये वाकई लाजवाब है.
अब में पूरी बुक 1 रात में complete कर देता हू.
दुनिया भर के ताने और गालियाँ हंस क सुन लेता हू.
कितनी भी मुसीबत आये खुश रहता हू.
सच में,ये काफी असरदार है..!
62. Beemar Engineer se uski biwi boli - Is bar kisi janwar ke doctor ko dikhao.
Pati bola - Wo kyon?
Biwi - Roz Subah Murge ki tarah juldi uthh jate ho. Ghode ki tarah bhag ke office chale jate ho. Gadhe ki tarah dinbhar kaam karte ho. Lomdi ki tarah idhar-udhar se information batorkar report banate ho. Bandar ki tarah boss k ishare par nachte ho. Ghar aakar pariwar pe kutte ki tarah bhonkte ho, aur fir bhains ki tarah so jaate ho. Insaano ka doctor tumhe kya thik kar payega!!!! ;
Pati bola - Wo kyon?
Biwi - Roz Subah Murge ki tarah juldi uthh jate ho. Ghode ki tarah bhag ke office chale jate ho. Gadhe ki tarah dinbhar kaam karte ho. Lomdi ki tarah idhar-udhar se information batorkar report banate ho. Bandar ki tarah boss k ishare par nachte ho. Ghar aakar pariwar pe kutte ki tarah bhonkte ho, aur fir bhains ki tarah so jaate ho. Insaano ka doctor tumhe kya thik kar payega!!!! ;
63. Engine ke liye jaise fuel hota hai
Vaise har ek engineer zaroori
hota hai
Koi memory ki size ko
badhaye
Koi gadgets ko compact banaye
Ek teri chizo ko sahi kare Aur ek tere dimag ka dahi kare
Koi
"koi electronics” koi
“mechanicaL,Civil” hota hai
Par hare k engineer Zaroori hota
hai
Engine buddy, microwave
buddy, robotics buddy, Architect
buudy,
IC buddy,Mari ne buddy Evry
buddy..... . sab buddy ya XYZ
Engineering padh padh ke bheja
roast hota hai Par roasted bheja bhi zaroori
hot Hai
Therefore har ek engineer
zaroori hota hai.....!!!!!
Dedicated to all engineers at work..:P
Vaise har ek engineer zaroori
hota hai
Koi memory ki size ko
badhaye
Koi gadgets ko compact banaye
Ek teri chizo ko sahi kare Aur ek tere dimag ka dahi kare
Koi
"koi electronics” koi
“mechanicaL,Civil” hota hai
Par hare k engineer Zaroori hota
hai
Engine buddy, microwave
buddy, robotics buddy, Architect
buudy,
IC buddy,Mari ne buddy Evry
buddy..... . sab buddy ya XYZ
Engineering padh padh ke bheja
roast hota hai Par roasted bheja bhi zaroori
hot Hai
Therefore har ek engineer
zaroori hota hai.....!!!!!
Dedicated to all engineers at work..:P
64. एक सच्ची घटना:;->
जिसे सोचकर इंसान की रुह तक काँप जाती लेकिन जालिमोँ के हाँथ तक नहीँ काँपे
देहरादून मेँ 17 साल की एक मासूम लड़की जिसने अभी 12th पास किया था
और ये दिन उसके enjoy करने के थे
लेकिन उसके बाप और सगे भाई ने बहला फुसला कर
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.उसे engineering का फॉर्म भरवा दिया
65.
जिसे सोचकर इंसान की रुह तक काँप जाती लेकिन जालिमोँ के हाँथ तक नहीँ काँपे
देहरादून मेँ 17 साल की एक मासूम लड़की जिसने अभी 12th पास किया था
और ये दिन उसके enjoy करने के थे
लेकिन उसके बाप और सगे भाई ने बहला फुसला कर
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.उसे engineering का फॉर्म भरवा दिया
65.
No comments:
Post a Comment